*D REAL CULPRITS OF D ANIMAL HOLOCAUST*
(By Ramón D. Marín)
*IN HEAVEN*
*God*: Let’s give dem some 2 or 3 tousand years believin' dat der sacred books were written by me & dere4 dey’r foolproof; & den all of a sudden we send some poor average Joe 2 tell dem dose books have capital errors 2 b rectified…
*Saint Michael Archangel*: Oh shoot! 3.000 years? What if d poor average Joe gets scared of being lynched?
*God*: Dat’s why we have 2 wait 4 so long. We'll send Saint Gabriel Archangel 2 pick d poor average Joe & talk 2 him 2 see what he says.
*ON TELEPATHY, 3.000 YEARS LATER*
*Saint Gabriel Archangel*: Ramón; my commander, God, sends word 2 u dat u have 2 do us a little favor…
*Ramón*: No hay problema, archgeneral Saint Gabriel Archangel. ¿Qué favorcito sería?
*Saint Gabriel Archangel*: U have 2 tell d 3 main religions of d planet dat dey’r d real 1s 2 blame 4 d enormous misery of our most innocent creatures, d animals, ‘cause der sacred books glorify, sponsor, foster, & allow d worldwide animal holocaust bin' committed on a daily basis. U have 2 do as much as u can 4 d message 2 go where it needs 2 go & help dese poor innocents.
*Ramón*: Dios santísimo!... O.K. But how am i expected 2 do such a tin’, 4 heaven’s sake?
*Saint Gabriel Archangel*: Ay mijito! Wit God’s help, wit God’s help! U know it’s a cause more dan just.
*Ramón*: Yeah, i know… Why did u guys take so long?
*Saint Gabriel Archangel*: Ay mijito! 4 heaven’s sake! Better don’t ask, better don’t ask.
*ON EARTH*
*Ramón daydreamin'*: & now qué voy a hacer? How can i do God d favor?... i don’t know nobody who is into compassion… D entire planet is blinded by addiction & greed… Ya sé cómo… talking 2 d leaders of religions, d Secretary of d United Nations, d President of d United States, etc.; who might b friends of animals… But how can i talk 2 dem?...
To b continued
